Escaping an Avenger

What is it with dreams?? What drives their creation? what dictates their disappearance? I have no answers now, just elusive hints of understanding. This is what happened - I almost had a Bajaj Avenger, and then I lost it - I mean literally, I LOST IT!! I FULLY LOST MY DESIRE, DREAM, LONG STANDING LUST, for that beauty in black and chrome, that machine of heady speed and excitement, the almost reachable goal ' FEEL LIKE GOD!'

I woke up the next morning in my first real panic attack, the responsibility of ownership, the registration, insurance, learner's permit, license, the regular cleaning, polishing, visits to the dealer for servicing....I almost doubled over with a burden that I was yet to carry, fear of responsibility, the weight of God!
My dream had become a nightmare over night. I had serious cold feet. All I wished for was to ride that damned machine and not be caught!

So...what keeps a desire, desirous? Just the unattainability of it? what is the elusive line finely separating a want, a deep persistent dream of your days into a burden of your morrows? Are only the unreachables worth reaching for? hunting the only real pleasure? Aiming for the sky, only worthwhile, since the arrow cannot find a mark, that there is no mark - a rapidly fleeing goal, just beyond the mark, always beyond the mark?

I am sorry to have lost my dream for an Avenger, I would have been sorrier to have realised it. Now, I am busy conjuring up a new dream, an even stupider, dashier and hopefully more unattainable dream.