A Walk

For several days now I have been on a search...to search for hope, that invisible tenous thread that holds one's place in universe, a wispy idea that validates this journey. I have looked for it everywhere - in children's laughter, the rays of sun, the flowers that still bloom. And...it has been futile! I have been filled with gloom -that this is all transitory - this innocence, the rain filled clear light, earth on which flowers can bloom.

Usually I thrive on impermanence - lunge at fleeing moments, grab disappearing rainbows - to live on peak of pinnacles - in perfect poised balance of now. This time the monsoons dragged me in deeper- to their lightless, prussian, dense, dark depths. I have hung on teetering, striving balance on swinging see-saws, jumping between ends - between colossal falls, looking towards heavens for a smile.

And yesterday, the Gods smiled...

I was taking a forced, fast walk through our campus. It was late dusk, the dark period before night, before the lamps were turned on. The road was silent, damp, under canopies of trees with clumps of bamboos, and jungles of bushes on either side. It was then that I saw them - two Slender Loris moving with ease on a bent long bamboo. I stood still, in shocked delight. They were so tiny, so fragile and so sure! One of them quickly moved away, to hide and stare - the other was cocky, assured that I meant no harm...how did he know?? I had been granted a gift!

As I made my way home, with now a silly grin on my face, I saw in spotlight under a street lamp - a tiny beautiful owl. Barely 8", with a flat white face, huge glowy eyes...and definitely an attitude. The rains have seen swarms of moths canopying the street lights - they very quickly loose their transparent wings and fall on ground where they become dinners for birds, termites, other creatures. The owl looked at me in reproach and flew to a safe branch on a nearby tree. From here it played a 'blink' game with me, bobbing it head absurdly all the time. I tried imitating its hoot, approaching closer to see if I could pass off for a fellow friendly owl - only to send it to even higher branches...I had been granted a second gift!

Suddenly, Hope was a clear, visible thread, connecting me to all of life - to Slender Loris, Owl, children, rainbows, flowers, light, and yes, even the darkest monsoon clouds!