Singing to my Fish

For a few weeks now I have had a gloriously beautiful fighter fish in a bowl against my window. It is colored turquoise to indigo and rose to maroon, yes! all on a 2 inch body of furly fins, a vain face, a full pouty mouth. It used to sit in sullen stillness, as many very beautiful people do, aware and sufficient in their own beauty. I wanted it to love me a bit, acknowledge, and interact - and play with me - a little bit...

no amount of prodding it - yes, physically, swirling its pool, pressing my nose against the bowl and making goofy fishy faces perturbed this little beauty at all - it was supremely unaware of my existence and content in its own place - the ruling fish of the bowl.

I slowly gave up seeking attention - decided to do my own thing - there was life before it came into my life, and there would be life even if I am ignored.

I sing - sometimes do tediously long riyaz for my long suffering family....so I usually try to give the family members a break and practice music when all have left home. Recently I have noticed that my fish perks up when I sing, becomes energised, buoyant, almost vivacious - it flits from here and there, swoops and swirls, dives in extravagant display of prowess and soars upwards in vertical lifts. It does all this as I wander through my room, singing. It also has developed a keen sense of the raga and is particularly partial to Bhairav - exhibiting very fine taste. Coincidentally, this also happens to be a favorite raga of mine! My dull, comatose fish has finally come alive - or has periods when it comes alive - when I sing.

I was overjoyed. Suddenly I wondered - maybe this was its act of desperation, of escaping, of committing harakiri, of flipping out, ending its life !! just because I sing?????