Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Tao of Fine Balance

Is there a less abstract, more grounded significance to Taoism which expresses all life, world, as manifestations of opposites, Yin and Yang, male and female, passive and dynamic, existence via opposition, and opposing co-existing within an individual-person, quality, thing??

Such thoughts have recently been occupying my mind-abstract thoughts anchored by requiring theories be consistent with personal experience, understanding and knowledge of self. My life is led trying to find a balance between the various opposites that pull me, unable to choose and therefore indulging in both. For every interest that I have had, I have been equally enthused by its exact opposite-for example, attempting to be a " travelling farmer" is self contradictory, and has built into it occupational hazard to both the farmer and the traveller. Is the need to put down roots and to be foot loose, just Tao expressing itself within-the energy for each fed by the existence of the other? Similarly my intense need for solitude works off my great enjoyment in society, friends that are webbed into my life; my desire for silence opposes my great delight in the word; ecstasy of passion in search of a divine love makes me pirouette to sufi chants with as much need as the ease with which I sit in padmasana under giant trees, eyes closed, practicing no mind, no me. Need for simplicity drives me to extreme moves to give up possessions, ownership, while the next instance a complete incomprehensible lust for possession
makes me acquire the unnecessary; my trust in pacifism is in direct opposition to the violence and aggression that I am capable of-that I quell with arguments. Logic dominates my life's meandering course only as much as whim, intuition-my heart guides me as much as my head-often in conflict with it. Being in natural spaces most comforts me-while I thrive in heady excitement of man made clutter, jumble, chaos-music of ocean, river, brook soothes me while a raga or a violin concerto can move me to tears. Is there a choice to be made here? or accept the teeter-tottering of my unbalanced state? is this all Tao manifestation within or the rantings of a confused female?

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