I Became a Tree

" The Living live by living off the Dead - all, except the trees"

I confess I had never thought of it like that before. But it sounded right; it sounded true. And so, I decided to become a tree.

I went out into the garden and dug a hole - a circle two feet wide and two feet deep.Then I mixed the soil with enough sand and compost - sieved it and prepared a pile. I was now ready. I stepped into the hole and packed  in the rich soil all around till I was firmly planted - knee deep. With great excitement, I settled down to wait, and watch.

The gardner watered me - not noticing any difference. I woke with the sun and slept soon after dark - like the rest of plants and trees in my garden. In a few days, the birds started landing on me and the squirrel running around. I shook with mirth and happiness.

It took about a week; I started feeling a tickling in my soles, feet and legs. I could feel my roots sprouting and tunneling into the earth - holding it tight and sucking from it. Green leaves and tiny branches emerged - reaching out for the skies. The Sun shone on me, and stars sang when I slept. Rains rained me clean and the winds played around with me. Without drinking, I was drunk with life - energised, refreshed, and fully  awake. I was warm with the fires burning in my hearth and dizzy with my dance around the sun; and together, we danced our dance in the heavens.

I am happy I became a Tree.

Balding Ego

The other day I got fed up of hair...actually I got fed up of life for some reason and the only think I could think of shedding was hair. So I went to the campus barber. I sat comfortable in a chair, blind as a bat, enjoying the sensation of a machine mowing my mop...that is till he announced "DONE". I put on my glasses and let out a horrified scream. In a matter of ten minutes, I had transformed from a middle aged homo sapien of the female sex, to a gender less ET in human clothes. With a glazed look and a pasted strained smile I stumbled out into the world.

Its been a week since the episode. I have somewhat recovered my equanimity but the world has yet to pretend poise. The kinder religious ones usually ask " Coming from Where??" They usually suspect that I went to gift a mop of grey hair to Gods, in exchange for some favor. I could say easily say " Tirupati" but don't..I just mumble  "Barbers" with a weak smile. I suspect I have lost many potential friends in the last week...but what can I do. .The kinder ones usually sympathise " It will grow back".

I have, since last week, taken to staring at the mirror and saying calmly " Its not so bad ...that's what you really look like" And really its not so..bad. I have also learnt with astonishment that despite not being particularly vain, how much I set in store by how-I-look, particularly the froth that framed me - just so. The exercise in balding has confronted me with my ego; I am right now happier with a balder alter-ego.

Suma's Garden

Shadows

Recently, I have started noticing the shadows. There are shadows on the walls of my living room - blocking and illuminating the light - trees, bushes, leaves that rustle outside and stir inside; walls are now two dimensional mobiles of outer scapes played out within the bounds of my home.

Recently, I have started observing the shadows within - heavy and pulsating within the beats of my heart. They  bind a luminous hope and anchor a free laughter that would otherwise float away. I stare at this darkness that can hold so much light at bay - at its mobile pulses that nights my waking day.